Midlife MavericksLast week broke me open. Not in a poetic way, but in a “why on earth am I still doing 14-hour days at my age” way.
I spent the whole week in Dubai.
Back-to-back meetings. Endless coffees, dinners and conversations. My social battry flatlined by Tuesday. My caffeine intake – well, let’s just not go there….
Yet, my heart was full. The trip was a career high.
Then the flight home never left the runway.
We boarded at 2 a.m and “landed” at 6:30 a.m, still in Dubai. Technical failure and no departure. My phone at 10 percent battery. Passport control queues. Running across terminals to buy a new ticket. Praying the charger didn’t die before I texted my family.
I dragged myself back into London on Friday feeling utterly destroyed. Depleted, proud, and very, very human.
Quote Of The Week
“Connection is why we are here.”
Brené Brown
The Hidden Cost of Pretending You Can Do It All
As I’m here three days later and still not fully recovered, it got me thinking:
The real cost is not the work. It is everything that gets squeezed out around the work.
Here’s what imbalance actually looks like in a high-achieving midlife life:
✔ You spend a full week abroad for work. Your kids barely see you. Then you take three midweek days just to be with them because they need you and you need them.
✔ You disappear into a project sprint for 12-hour days, then compensate by clearing two afternoons so your brain can breathe.
✔ You push through evening calls to close a deal, then take a morning off to recover
✔ You deliver like a machine for clients, then come home and run the household.
The issue with pretending you can do it all in your 40’s and beyond is not just the energy crashes, but also the emotional whiplash. Switching between roles and carrying the mental load. Senior leadership at work, straight into being mum and partner at home. Mix in a bit of brain fog and a couple of hot flashes, while holding it together so no one sees the seams.
This is the real cost: the tax on your body and your relationships. Not to mention your patience, sleep and judgment.
After all, you’re only human.
Which brings me to the three lessons that hit me hardest on this trip.
Lesson 1: Imbalance Is Part of Growth
Some seasons demand more.
You don’t sustain them forever. You enter, you deliver, you exit, you recover.
I used to say Veni Vidi Vinci (To come, to see, to conquer), but that was at 25, and at 49, after the Vinci part, I need to recover and that is just the way it is. Sorry not sorry.
This is why portfolio careers and solopreneurship work so well for women like us. The flexibility is baked in. You can swing between intensity and presence, travel and home, clients and kids. Deep work and deep rest, on your terms.
It’s important to drop the bullshit that work life balance happens at all times – I always keep it real here for you.
The power is not in avoiding imbalance, but knowing how to swing yourself back.
Lesson 2: Being the Only Woman in the Room Is Not a Weakness
I travelled the whole week with men.
Not a single meeting with women. And truth be told, it felt good to be one of the guys. To jump into the banter and hear their stories. To understand what shaped them.
But it also reminded me of something deeper. Many rooms we walk into were built by men, for men. And still, we walk in, contribute and influence. We hold our ground.
25 years of moving in these rooms taught me that you don’t need to blend in to belong. You can hold your own by being yourself. You read the room differently, build trust differently and connect differently.
And that difference is an advantage.
At least according to my clients:
“Thanks for all your efforts this week. I love that you are well liked within the gang…safe flight home Clauds, Come on.💪💪”
It was a good reminder that difference is strength.
Lesson 3: Real Business Happens in Real Rooms
We intentionally left the last two days in Dubai open. They filled themselves.
Someone introduced us to someone else. A conference conversation turned into a private meeting. One lunch turned into three deals.
None of that can be replicated online.
This is even more true as you move towards Eastern cultures, where looking someone in the eye, talking about family, reading body language and sharing a slow meal, all carry the weight of a hundred emails.
You can post content for six months.
Or you can share a drink and connect in twenty minutes.
Both matter, but one is irreplaceable.
In a world full of bots – and you know I love AI – I am making more conscientious efforts to attend events in person. And in doing so, I’m being reminded of how much energy I derive from being in a room filled with people I admire.
Yes, my social battery is not the same as 20 years ago and I do need more coffee to keep going. But I can also deliver more depth in two hours today than in twenty hours a decade ago.
Maturity is currency. Use it.
And for now, this is all I got for you.
Protect your energy. Leverage your maturity. Show up in real rooms. That’s the work.
See you next week for Black Friday Week. If you want to opt out of those emails, click here.
