Midlife MavericksLast week I wrote about going first.
About sending six emails, starting a mastermind, and not waiting for someone else to build the room.
This week, the room built something back.
Kevin fixed what Microsoft couldn’t
You might remember my email saga. I’ve mentioned it before. Outlook issues, emails disappearing, hours on the phone with Microsoft support, Kit support, FastHost support.
I thought it was sorted.
It wasn’t.
When I sent last week’s newsletter, I mentioned Kevin. He replied to it. I never got that email.
I only found out because Kevin posted on Threads saying he’d written to me.
If he hadn’t said something publicly, I would still be walking around thinking my email was working fine. Meanwhile, hundreds of emails sat in quarantine. No alert. No notification. Nothing from Microsoft telling me this was even possible.
So Kevin offered to help. We got on a call on Friday, troubleshot a bunch of things, and it seemed to be working. But Kevin got curious. He said, “You might still want to try this.” He sent me a few test emails over the weekend.
And that was the one. That solved it.
Hundreds of quarantined emails. Months of missed messages. Replies to my own newsletter I never saw. Client emails that vanished. Sadly the quarantine only kept emails going back 1 month. If you replied to me and I didn’t answer: I never received your email!
All found because one person in my network refused to let it go.
And he wouldn’t take a penny in return.
The 30-minute calls that turned into 90
During that same week, I had a string of calls that I didn’t plan and couldn’t have predicted.
Two or three of them were introductions. Someone said, “I don’t know exactly why, but you two should talk.”
No agenda, just a feeling.
One of those calls was supposed to be 30 minutes. We talked for an hour and a half. And it was mutual. The other person felt exactly the same, “Why didn’t we meet sooner?” We’re now going to collaborate on something.
This keeps happening. No, I don’t have a system, but I keep showing up.
I have hundreds of call recordings in Fathom from the last six months alone. Consulting clients, advisory clients, coaching clients, and these unexpected conversations that turn into something I couldn’t have planned.
You don’t need a team. You need a village.
I talk a lot about not wanting to manage people. I don’t want a big team, and I like working on my own.
But “on my own” doesn’t mean “alone.”
There’s a massive difference.
Working alone means no one challenges your thinking. No one catches what you miss or solves the problem you’ve been staring at for three weeks.
Working with a village means you have people around you who think differently, who have skills you don’t, who will pick up the phone on a Friday night and troubleshoot your email because they genuinely want to help.
And hopefully, you do the same for them.
Last week proved that again. Kevin didn’t fix my email because I was paying him. He did it because that’s what villages do.
Quote of the Week
“The only way to have a friend is to be one.”
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
Six words. That’s the whole method.
“But how do you actually build those relationships?”
This is probably the question I’ve been asked most throughout my career. How do you network? How do you build relationships? How do you keep them going?
A friend asked me this again recently. Specifically about how I’ve built friendships in finance and capital introduction, a world that isn’t exactly known for warmth.
I’ll be honest, it’s hard for me to articulate. Because for me, it starts with something that isn’t teachable: I am genuinely, deeply interested in human beings. I have faith in humankind. I like meeting people. I like learning what drives them, what lights them up, what keeps them awake at night. I don’t do superficial. I love deep connections, real conversations, the kind where you forget what time it is.
But when I sat with the question, I realised there are things I do consistently, even if I don’t always think of them as a “method.”
Keep a log of people you’ve connected with.
Not a CRM. Not a spreadsheet with lead scores. Just a list of people you genuinely liked talking to. The ones where the conversation flowed. Where you thought, “I’d happily do that again.”
Schedule virtual coffees.
Every three to six months. No agenda. No ask. Just “How are things going?” That’s enough to keep a relationship warm.
Give before you ask.
If I see an article, a connection, or an opportunity that would help someone, I send it. “Saw this and thought of you.” That’s it. No strings. No expectation of return. This has been one of the most powerful things I’ve done throughout my career.
Be visible in their world.
Comment on their posts. Not a thumbs up. A real, thoughtful comment. Show up consistently. Be top of mind, not because you’re performing, but because you’re paying attention.
Don’t take it personally if someone can’t meet.
Everyone is busy. A “no” to a coffee doesn’t mean a “no” to the relationship. Keep the door open and circle back later.
Introduce people generously.
If I meet someone who would benefit from knowing someone else, I introduce them immediately. I don’t think about what’s in it for me. I don’t calculate payback. I just do it.
This has been the single most helpful habit of my career. Full stop.
The uncomfortable truth about networking
I know this stuff comes more naturally to some people than others.
If you’re shy, or introverted, or just not sure where to start, that’s real. I’m not going to pretend everyone finds this easy.
You don’t have to be the loudest person in the room, just be the most consistent one.
One thoughtful message. One genuine introduction. One “I thought of you.”
Do that enough times and you won’t need to network.
You’ll have a village.
Your move this week
- Think of one person you’ve lost touch with. Send them a message today. No ask. Just a check-in.
- Think of two people in your network who should know each other. Introduce them.
- If you’ve been waiting for someone to build your village, stop waiting. Build it yourself.
Last week I told you to go first.
This week I’m telling you what happens when you do.
People show up. People fix what you can’t. People turn a 30-minute call into a collaboration.
You don’t need more followers. You don’t need a bigger audience.
You need five Kevins.
And the only way to find them is to be one first.
Reply and tell me: Who’s your Kevin? The person who showed up for you when they didn’t have to. I want to hear that story.
See you next Wednesday,
C
PS. If your emails are misbehaving and you want someone who actually knows what they’re doing, Kevin is your person. Copywriter, marketing strategist, and apparently also an email deliverability GOD. No, I’m not on commission. I just love the guy. Check him out at kevinhood.me.
