Last week I joined a group run by my favorite creator. (When I grow up, I want to be like him.)
The moment I stepped into that space, the conversations changed. Suddenly, people like me started showing up — people I didn’t even know existed. I always felt like the odd one out. Not anymore.
At the same time, I cleared out my Instagram feed. There were a few creators I admired for their success — but their content made me feel small. And FFS, I’m already 5’1”.
Anyone flashing Hermès bags and supercars? Not my people. That brand of loud wealth just repels me. Maybe it’s the European in me. Maybe it’s just taste. But if someone’s content makes me feel like I need to shrink? It’s a no.
Then I listened to Morgan Housel on the Diary of a CEO podcast (the only podcast I follow). One line stuck with me:
“If you want to be happy, that’s easy.
But what most people want is to be
happier than other people
What you should aim for is content, not happy.”
And truly – I am content.
These moments might seem unrelated. But they made one thing crystal clear:
Where you are, and who you surround yourself with, shapes how you feel, what you do, and who you become.
Quote of the Week
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
Kurt Vonnegut
Who You Think You Are Drives What You Do
Most people think we act from discipline.
In reality, we act from identity.
If you believe you’re the kind of woman who launches businesses, you launch businesses.
If you see yourself as someone who leads, builds, and sells — you do.
That belief? It’s shaped by your environment.
Psychologist Daphna Oyserman calls this Identity-Based Motivation. Her research shows we’re more likely to pursue hard goals when they feel like a natural expression of who we are — not a stretch.
And identity is context-dependent. Your surroundings cue the version of you that’s front and center.
- If the room reinforces “this is what people like me do,” you lean in.
- If it doesn’t, you second-guess every move.
Want to feel like a founder?
Get in the room where founder energy is the norm.
Let your environment normalize the identity you’re building into.
Don’t Compare Up. Compare Strategically.
We all compare. (Yes, you too.)
According to Leon Festinger’s Social Comparison Theory, we measure our progress by looking sideways and up.
And comparison can be healthy — if the reference point is close enough to feel achievable.
- You see her post daily and think, “I could do that.”
- You see her land a client and think, “Maybe I’m ready too.”
The right room lifts your standards without crushing your spirit.
But comparison gets dangerous when the gap is too wide.
If you’re comparing yourself to someone making $5M/year with a team of 12 and a personal chef? You’ll feel behind — even if managing 12 people sounds like a personal nightmare.
The right room gives you benchmarks, not burnout.
Look for people who are just a few steps ahead.
Close enough to model. Far enough to stretch you.
You Catch Fire From Who You Stand Next To
Your brain mirrors its environment.
If everyone around you is talking about million-dollar quarters, you start assuming that’s normal.
This is called cognitive priming — exposure to big energy wires your brain for bigger action.
In a 2010 study by Nanda & Sørensen, people were significantly more likely to start companies if their colleagues had entrepreneurial experience.
Entrepreneurship is contagious.
Surround yourself with builders, and:
✔ You act faster
✔ You think bigger
✔ You normalize risk and resilience
This is the power of proximity.
The right room doesn’t just change what you know, it changes what you believe is possible.
OWN IT: Want to Think Bigger?
Then you need proximity to people whose expectations reset your own.
Their habits, standards, and beliefs will slowly replace your old excuses.
You don’t rise alone. You rise with the people you choose to learn from.
Get in the room where:
- Excellence is boring
- Progress is assumed
- Identity aligns with where you’re headed
Because the fastest way to evolve…
is to stop pretending you can do it in isolation.
Your Weekly Action Plan: Proximity Is Power
- Audit your current circle — who expands your thinking? Who shrinks it?
- Join one space that feels like a level up (online or in-person)
- Replace one scroll session with content from someone building what you admire
- Book a call with someone who challenges you (even if it makes you nervous)
The right room changes everything.
It shows you who you were always capable of becoming.
Let’s go find those rooms.
With clarity and caffeine,
Claudia
