Midlife MavericksA few months ago I was walking on the beach with my two best friends. Summer. Sunset. One of those deep conversations about life that always happen when the three of us get together.
And I told them something that surprised even me.
“I have a consulting client who wants me as a fractional CXO to run sales. They’re ready. They want to pay. But I just don’t want to.”
They looked at me like I’d lost my mind.
“What? You’d be amazing at that! Why wouldn’t you want it?”
I shrugged.
“I just don’t feel like doing that kind of work anymore. I’m done with it. I’d rather go deep on strategy.”
One of them stopped. Went quiet for a few seconds. And then she said something that hit me square in the chest.
“Oh my God, Claudia. I wish I could do that.”
I wish I could choose. Imagine walking into the office tomorrow and just saying: I don’t want to do that. But I have bills. I have kids. I have to show up even on the days I hate every second of it.
That’s when it hit me. The freedom I’d built, the ability to say “no thank you” to money that’s sitting right there in front of me, had become so normal I’d stopped seeing it.
I called the client and told him I wasn’t interested in the CXO role.
“Great. Tell me what YOU want to do. Let’s not let money be the reason we work together. We’ll find a way to make this happen.”
I was stunned.
This week I got a message from another client. An old one. The kind who sends me WhatsApp messages every now and then: “Don’t forget about me.”
When we first met, I didn’t want to work with that team. I had my reasons. I said no. And they told me, in no uncertain terms: we’re going to work with you and we’re not taking no for an answer.
They were right. It turned into one of the best partnerships I’ve ever had. And now that client is back. With a different message: “Just let me know how you’d like to get involved. We’d love to have you back, in whatever format makes sense for you.”
In whatever format makes sense for you.
I know what this looks like when I tell these stories. It looks like opportunities fall from the sky and I pick the ones I fancy like someone choosing pastéis de nata at a bakery counter.
But nobody sees what it took to get here.
Every single day, I go out and fight. Send proposals, show up, publish, call, build relationships, maintain relationships, say “I’m here if you need me.” With zero guarantee that any of it will lead to anything.
The freedom to say “no” to a top role didn’t appear out of thin air. It was built on the ground, day after day, in the most boring and invisible work there is: the work of putting yourself out there repeatedly when nobody is asking you to.
My friend looked at me and saw the privilege. And she’s right. But it didn’t fall into my lap. It cost years of discomfort, of rejection, of days when I wanted to walk away from all of it. It cost being the person who calls, who proposes, who shows up, who puts herself on the line. Even when nobody answers.
Most people give up before the direction reverses. Before they reach the point where the client says “tell me how you’d like to get involved” instead of “this is what we need.”
I have days when I want to give up too. But I don’t. And that’s why today I have an answer ready when someone asks me how I want to be involved.
Because I paid the price. And I keep paying it, every single day, in the arena.
Comment below. When was the last time you said no to something you were good at, because it just wasn’t what you wanted anymore? I read every response.
This article was first published in Portuguese in my weekly column Oh pá, não me lixem! for Executiva.
