Last week I walked into a conference room in Lisbon and froze.
I didn’t freeze from nerves. I froze from the noise – the energy, the laughter, the heels, the power.
It hit me: I’d never spent an entire workday surrounded only by women.
Two decades in male-dominated rooms, and suddenly I was in this estrogen-rich universe of possibility.
It was beautiful. And, if I’m honest, a little awkward.
Because I’d never had that before.
After the conference, I shopped till I dropped. I had dinner with friends who hold C-suite titles, even found myself back on a stage performing after a 28-year hiatus. I lived. I ate my body weight in pork fat. And I didn’t have to ask anyone for permission or time off.
That’s when it hit me: this is the gift of a portfolio career.
I decide how to invest my time – what counts as work, what counts as living, and where those two things blur.
Quote of the Week
“You get in life what you have the courage to ask for.”
Oprah Winfrey
When You’re the Product, Silence Is Expensive
While I was away, one of my coaching clients landed her first consulting contract: a six-figure deal that ticked every box she’d dreamed of.
Here’s the wild part: it happened after we had one call.
She’d just left her corporate role and was interviewing for what looked like a dream job on paper. But she didn’t want to be an employee again.
So I asked her, “What if you just told them that?”
If you explain what you want, you create space for someone to say yes.
She hesitated about price.
“What if they said yes?” I asked.
So she went into that meeting and said it out loud:
She wanted flexibility, ownership of her diary, and variety in her projects.
And she named her price.
They came back with a consulting arrangement on her terms. Six figures. Full autonomy. Space to build the rest of her portfolio life.
Price?
Exactly what she asked for.
All she needed was the courage to ask.
And it’s a reminder for every woman reading this:
People – especially men across the table – aren’t mind readers.
If you don’t say what you want, it’s almost a miracle if you get it.
London, Crypto, and Conversations That Hit Different
Yesterday, I was back in London at a crypto and commodities conference – ninety percent men in navy jackets, talking markets and metals.
I ended up chatting with a few who had almost identical résumés to mine: ex-bankers turned consultants, board advisors, non-execs.
When I told them I started writing online, they leaned in. They wanted to read everything I’d written. They were genuinely curious.
One told me about his own portfolio setup: two non-executive roles, one advisory retainer, a few angel investments.
Not one of them was optimizing for income.
They were optimizing for lifestyle.
For time. For freedom.
Just like my client.
That’s when I saw the pattern.
Every fulfilled professional I met that week—male or female, corporate veteran or solopreneur—was optimizing for the same thing: choice.
Choice in when to work, where to work, and who to work with.
And choice doesn’t come from luck. It comes from two muscles most women never build: selling yourself and saying what you want.
The Data
That pattern kept echoing in my head, so I looked up the numbers.
According to Harvard Business Review (Ibarra, Ely & Kolb, 2019 – “Why Women Build Less Effective Networks Than Men—And What to Do About It”), women who maintain visible professional networks – sharing work, publishing insights, mentoring peers – are 3.2× more likely to advance or attract consulting opportunities than those who keep their heads down.
And MIT Sloan Management Review (Mortlock & Chamorro-Premuzic, 2021 – “How Independent Workers Thrive”) found that independent professionals who regularly share their expertise – through writing, talks, or case examples – grow their deal flow by nearly 40 % within six months.
In plain English: visibility and voice compound like interest.
You can’t earn returns on silence.
The Hidden Cost of Playing Small
We’re taught that hard work speaks for itself.
It almost never does.
Hard work sits quietly in a corner until you introduce it to the world.
The women I coach are some of the most capable operators you’ll ever meet.
Their only blind spot? Visibility.
They whisper their goals.
They wait for recognition that never comes.
They think asking is impolite.
Meanwhile, men across the table are stating their terms with a smile.
If you want a portfolio career – if you want the freedom to move between roles, clients, and ideas—you have to do two things religiously:
- Sell yourself daily. No sleaze, just storytelling. Remind people what you’re brilliant at.
- Say what you want out loud. Don’t assume anyone else knows.
This is agency.
And it should be taught in schools – right next to financial literacy.
So…
Take a breath.
Imagine saying, clearly and calmly, the next thing you want – in one sentence, no apology.
Feels powerful, right?
If you can’t say it comfortably yet, practice in front of the mirror until you can.
We’re all just throwing spaghetti at the wall. Life is an experiment – speak up while it’s still warm.
Why This Matters
Writing online changed everything for me.
Not because it made me famous (I’m not, and those who’ve met me know how much I hate stages).
But because it made me visible to the right people – and gave me confidence.
Every consulting inquiry, investment conversation, and collaboration I’ve had can be traced to that simple habit: I keep showing my work.
Visibility is oxygen when you’re running your own business.
And voice – the ability to ask for what you want – is how you breathe it in.
My client did it once. You can too.
Say what you want. Sell yourself daily.
Freedom follows.
Own It
You don’t need to chase every role or client.
You just need to be clear enough – and visible enough – that the right ones find you.
If you’re ready to build a portfolio career filled with consulting, coaching, and the freedom to design your week:
Let’s turn your skills, story, and voice into a business that works on your terms.
Thanks for reading from both rooms – the one full of women claiming their space, and the one full of men finally asking how we built ours.
Here’s to visibility, voice, and the portfolio life that lets us have both.
I’m gonna grab a coffee, and I’ll see you next week.
